Christmas Story: He Said, She Said
There was a film awhile back that I never saw but heard about called, “He Said, She Said.” The story alternates between the perspective of a man and a woman, as each presents their own version of the scenes of their life together. Together, the two versions of the same story give a more complex and complete view of what actually happened.
This morning we encounter the New Testament version of He Said, She Said. The Gospel of Luke is the “She Said” version of the Christmas story. It is Mary’s story. The angel Gabriel visits Mary to reveal what is about to take place. Mary is the one who comments on what is going on, in the lovely Magnificat. At the angel’s direction, Mary gives the child the name “Jesus.” Mary is the one who observes all that is going on in this miraculous birth and treasures all these things in her heart.
In this gospel, Joseph is just kind of an extra on stage. He has no speaking parts. No encounters with angels. We don’t know what he sees or hears or thinks. His only job in the whole story appears to be to take care of the travel arrangements, and he manages to botch that up so badly that his pregnant wife has to deliver her child in a barn.
The Gospel of Matthew that we read today is the “He Said” version of the Christmas story. This gospel begins with a family tree and it’s not Mary’s family tree; it’s Joseph’s. The angel of the Lord appears to Joseph, not once but three times. Joseph is the one in this story who has to figure everything out and run things so that everyone is safe and sound. And who names the baby in Matthew’s account? Joseph.
In this gospel, it is Mary who is just kind of an extra on the stage. She has no speaking parts. No encounters with angels. We don’t know what she sees or hears or thinks. Her only job in the story, although it is a crucial one, appears to be to deliver the child.
Which of these “He Said, She Said”
accounts do we know and love and cherish the best? Ask someone to tell the
Christmas story and almost without exception, they will tell the story from
Luke—Mary’s side of the story. That’s what we will be doing at
Now is anyone surprised that it’s the woman’s side of the story that comes out ahead? Guys, how do they manage to do that so consistently? Are they more articulate, are they better story tellers, are they more persuasive? Do we as readers find them more sympathetic? Here Joseph is holding all the cards; he comes from a very patriarchic society, where the men pretty much dominate the world and everything in it, including the stories from the Scriptures, and he still can’t come out ahead on the “He Said, She Said” thing. Seriously, in any Christmas pageant that you’ve ever seen, has Joseph ever said anything? Has he ever done anything except tag along?
The reason we have these two accounts of the Christmas story in the Gospels is not because one is true and the other is false. It is because of perspective. Anytime we can view what’s going on from two different perspectives, we get a clearer picture of what is happening.
From the story he tells, we suspect that Matthew had some connection with Joseph, and that Matthew was an old-school guy. He was a man of tradition with deep connections to his roots; he understood the Jewish world and culture. He was a scholar who knew his Hebrew Testament well. His target audience was other members of this established community of faith. He was most comfortable within this close-knit people. He was always seeking the connections between the story of Jesus and the ancient tradition of God’s revelation throughout the ages.
On the other hand, we suspect that Luke was better acquainted with Mary, or a close friend of Mary’s. He was more of a modern, cosmopolitan man. He was a physician, a man with an interest in the practical side of life. He understood and was comfortable with the wider world, with innovation and breaking new ground. His focus on the woman as the centerpiece of his story was actually kind of a countercultural move in his day.
These two writers give us the Christmas story from two completely different perspectives.
Luke wins out in popularity because his version is more appealing to the wider world. It is more fascinating, more detailed, more vivid, more moving, more poetic, and more accessible to the reader.
Nonetheless, no one perspective can capture the entire truth about any event, and Matthew has an important piece to add to our understanding of what was going on in the Christmas story.
We can start to see what that perspective is by looking at the reading from Isaiah today. Listen to these two verses:
The king is told: “Ask the
Lord your God for a sign, whether in the deepest depths or in the highest
heights.”
But Ahaz said, “I will not ask; I will
not put the LORD to the test.”
Now, based on these verses, and not knowing anything more about Ahaz or the situation he is in, would you guess he is a good person or a bad person? Is he right or is he wrong in his response?
In the story of the temptation of Christ in the wilderness, Jesus responds to one of Satan’s temptations by saying, “You shall not put the Lord your God to the test.”
That should settle the issue. That’s exactly what Ahaz is saying in these verses. Because he agrees with Jesus, we would conclude that he must be a godly person who is doing right in his refusal to test God.
And we would be wrong. It turns out that Ahaz was a terrible king. And the prophet Isaiah rakes him over the coals for this seemingly correct answer. Isaiah fumes, “Hear now, you house of David. Is it not enough to try the patience of men? Will you try the patience of my God also?” In other words, “Wrong answer, Ahaz!”
In this case, deciding not to put the Lord to the test was the wrong choice.
But wait a minute; what about what Jesus said?
It turns out that, yes, there is truth to the fact that God is not to be tested. God is not here to perform tricks for us upon our command. God is not to be treated like some genie in a bottle who grants us our wishes.
But there is also truth to the fact that God wants to be tested. God wants to be relied upon. God wants his promises to be taken seriously. Isaiah says to Ahaz, “Don’t act like God is indifferent to your fate or to human actions. What we do matters to God. Trust in those promises. Put them to the test.”
This puzzling incident from Isaiah reminds us that doing God’s will is not simply a matter of parroting the right verses and following their instructions verbatim. It’s a lot more complicated. It requires thought and effort and discernment. It requires prayer, not just prayer asking for God’s endorsement of our plans and opinions, but truly wrestling with God to try and figure out what is God’s will in this time and place.
Faith requires the courage to take a stand with conviction. But it also requires the humility to know that we’re not infallible, the patience to listen to God, and the flexibility to change course when we find ourselves going the wrong way.
The “He Said, She Said” combination of the Christmas story is another illustration of complex nature of what it means to follow God. There are times when it’s easy. When we know exactly what is required of us. When it all makes such clear sense that we can’t see why other people don’t get it. When the boundaries between right and wrong are so clear that it is obvious to us what needs to be done.
That is the side of the story Mary has to tell. The plan is all laid out for her. She experiences face-to-face revelations that leave no room for doubt about what she is facing and what she needs to do. The pathway is clearly marked, and she is unshakeable in her conviction, and in her willingness to follow where God leads.
But we know that there are also times when the path isn’t so clear. When we thought we knew what God wanted, but now aren’t so sure. When we mull over our choices and agonize over them, and plead for guidance, some clear-cut intervention from God to point us in the right direction.
That is the side of the story Joseph has to tell. He faces a heart-wrenching dilemma. His fiancée is pregnant, and he knows he didn’t have anything to do with it. Obviously, there are some major trust issues in this relationship. It seems clear the marriage is not going to work. What should he do?
He decides to divorce her, quietly. They are not married yet but in Jewish society at the time, breaking an engagement amounted to the same thing as a divorce.
Why does he do this? Because he’s trying to weasel out of a commitment?
No, we are told that he makes this decision because he is a righteous man. He’s trying to follow God’s will. And the best he can make of this difficult, confusing situation is to quietly divorce Mary so that she is not publicly disgraced. It is an act of forgiveness; despite the hurt that he feels, he’s trying to give her the best chance of recovering from this mistake and starting her life over again with some hope for the future. He decides to do it because he is a good man trying to do the right thing.
But in this case, he’s wrong. The situation is much more complicated than he imagined. There are new factors here to consider. And unlike Mary, he doesn’t get blown away by the brilliant light of a clear and personal encounter with God—an ecstatic, life-changing experience. The only revelations he gets come in the form of dreams. Dreams are not clear experiences. Personally, I can’t remember the last time I had a dream that made any sense at all.
While Mary experiences an “ahah” moment, Joseph mulls and ponders and dreams, and tries to put the whole thing together. And as he does, he determines that he was wrong. Regardless of how good his intentions were, divorcing Mary is not the right thing to do. In the end, he decides, against all logic, to trust God. He stays with Mary, and because of this, the Christmas story can continue.
I’m always intrigued and baffled and maybe a little envious of those who tell me about special experiences they’ve had with God. About their close encounters with the divine and the supernatural. About a dramatic and personal moment in which God spoke to them or called them.
Those are Mary moments.
God bless you if you’ve been there. I haven’t been, but I think I’ve at least been in that neighborhood. There are rare times when a moment of insight is so overwhelming, when a sense of love is so powerful, when God nestles in so close to my soul that I can catch a glimpse of the pure truth. When that happens, the path could not be any clearer.
But I more often find myself right in the middle of Joseph’s story. Where I’m trying to figure things out, trying to understand what God is saying. I think I know the right answer, only to discover that as I find out more about the situation, it turns out to be way more complicated that I thought. I have to reevaluate and ponder and pray, and beg God to throw a little more insight my way. In the end, the only thing I know for certain is that I can stand on the promises of God and trust that when I mess up, God will forgive me and help me clean up the mess I’ve made. And make it all come out right in the end.
God provides us with those rare Mary experiences to light within us the conviction that God is present, that God is loving and God is at work in our world. Take courage from those moments, say yes to God, and act decisively.
Joseph’s story reminds us, however, that we are fallible humans. We’re going to get it wrong more times than we care to think, even with the best of intentions. What Joseph’s story tells me is that God does not expect us to be right; God asks us to be faithful. Joseph got it right in the end not because he was so smart, but because he was faithful.
At the heart of the Christian faith lies the conviction that regardless of the mistakes we make, God will make it right in the end.
All that God requires of us is to be faithful. To stay close to God, to listen to God, to pray to God, to constantly check in with God so that we don’t go wandering off, causing more trouble than we fix. So that we can share in the fulfillment of the wonderful promise that, despite our faults, God will make it right in the end and use us as part of God’s plan to bring peace on earth, good will to all.